Uphill Battle Tour

For their autumn tour Jack and Richard chose two Moulton bicycles to ride from near Oswestry, Shropshire to Lewes in Sussex. Rupert to join in for the second half on a Brompton.
Jack arrived at Gobowen by train, with Moulton. Collected from there. Abi curry in evening. Next day walk along the canal to breakfast at Village Pantry, Llanymynech. Explored Heritage Area, and estate. Couple of pints in Cross Guns that night, very quiet. Set off next morning about nine.
Jack's Moulton (fourth Bike-to-Work purchase!) is a 2013 TSR27, with SRAM Dual-Drive, ie 9 speeds on a cassette, with 3 hub gears. Much modified: telescopic Brompton seatpost for extra height; raised handlebar stem, straight bars replaced by drops. Replacement brakes to accommodate the new levers. Richard’s is an APB R18, ie 9 speed cassette, 2 chainwheels. The R18s were the final and best specced evolution of the APB model. Preceded the introduction of the TSR range.

Day 1 - 5 Sept 2018

Very big first day. No accurate mileage to hand but we believe circa 85 miles, breaking the all-time tour record. Extraordinarily hilly route selected by the satnav to Wenlock Edge. Much needed drinks in Bridgnorth. No route along the steam railway. Shoulder after shoulder of hills, quite dispiriting. Just like the hilly sections of the Vélo Birmingham were, and we are staying overnight in one of those parts, Bewdley, at the Mercure. Declaration of insanity to the hotel staff scored us a free pint. Jack had a very slow speed off, pulling away, in Shrewsbury, possibly the result of a pannier jamming the steering. Minor cuts but nasty bruise to thigh, exacerbated by Jack's insistence on wearing rubber pants. We ate in at the Bewdley Mercure and the Gloucester Sawmills End Ibis. Good fare at both, not over-priced. Both too exhausted to venture elsewhere! Mercure Bewdley, Heath Hotel, Habberley Road, Bewdley, DY12 1LA. 1 twin room: £98.11.

Day 2 - 6 Sept 2018

Bewdley to Gloucester, via Stourport, Ombersley, Worcester and Tewkesbury, perhaps about 60 miles. Stops at Ombersley (posh cafe) and Worcester (Severn Cafe). A number of hills, but with a purpose, taking one up onto ridges, not like yesterday's endless roller-coaster. Some light rain. Drivers well behaved. Gorgeous views of the Malverns. Unfortunate rear puncture on my APB just five or six miles short of Gloucester, but sorted in half an hour. Good digs at the Ibis. Ibis Gloucester, Sawmills End, Corinium Avenue, Gloucester, GL4 3DG. 2 rooms: £88.

Day 3 - 7 Sept 2018

Gloucester to Bath, in all likelihood about 70 miles. The toughest day's cycling, in terms of hills, I've ever experienced. As we exited Gloucester we went into the centre to Eastgate Cycles in order to replace the accident-causing pannier, with one which clipped more securely to the frame. £20. Friendly service from proprietor who told us how tough trading conditions were for a traditionally-run cycle shop. Lovely first section along the canal. In an effort to get away from the A38 we ended up climbing Frocester Hill, up the side of the Cotswolds Hills. At 10%+ this was a long slog of a walk. Lovely roads over the top though, including along the Fosse Way, quiet fast miles. Beautiful around arboretum.
Bath expected to be hilly, but not as much as it turned out. Utterly exhausted, up hill and down dale to get to the university. Devonshire and Combe Down railway tunnels, now part of a cycling route, fantastic pieces of engineering - the latter is over a mile long - but do not appear to provide access to the university, much as the geography suggests they should. Had to double back, down hill then back up. Long push up final Medlock Hill to the University. Jack exhausted. (A subsequent examination of Google Maps suggested that there may well have been a much gentler level route to the university from the end of the second tunnel - confirming Richard’s speculation at the time based on place names. Pity the locals we asked did not know about it!)
Believe we have done c.220 miles over the last three days. Day off tomorrow, with just a journey to Bradford-on-Avon and back. Rupert joins the tour tomorrow afternoon.

Day off - 8 Sept 2018

I am riding a Brompton six-speed titanium ‘M’ model from 2008. (Jack's first Bike-to-Work bike, kindly on loan from Andy Thomas.) I take the train Lewes-Brighton. Then 09:00 direct service to Bradford-on-Avon, via Southampton, arriving midday. Lunch at Ravello, 1-2 St Margaret's St, Bradford-on-Avon.
To Moulton Bicycle Club Rally at the factory, with the Moulton fundies. We manage to negotiate a reduction for me on entry at £5. Pump up the tyres on the Brompton, badly needed. Cycle to Bath University, Claverton Down, via Kennett & Avon canal towpath, pushing the bike up Claverton Hill at the end. Overnight in cheap and cheerful digs, grub and beers in Uni bar. Reminded me of the old days in Durham. University of Bath, Eastwood, Norwood Avenue, Claverton Down, Bath, BA2 7PD. £38 approx per bed night. Good value.

Day 4 - 9 Sept 2018

For me the 'deep end' as I join the tour. We retrace our steps to Bradford-on-Avon via the canal towpath. Stop at Tourist Information for directions. Instead of continuing south-east to Trowbridge, we cut south-west to Farleigh Hungerford, where we see a motocross event and the ancient castle. A bunch of passing cyclists are headed to Longleat. We carry on to the Cross Keys pub at Rode, Somerset, where Pauline and Mark provide a free cup of tea. It is just amazing how fair people can be. "Come back and stay!" they say. A classic Bentley convertible pulls up to ask for directions.
I lose the boys on the A36 and turn off to Dilton Marsh, hoping they will catch up. I reach Westbury and cut south to Warminster on the unpleasant A350. I divert via Upton Scudamore in search of quieter roads. On the approach to Warminster a service area is disappointingly closed for repairs, so I head into town in search of money and grub. After cashing up at Barclays I stop at Coffee #1, 30 Market Place, Warminster for a snack - a cheese croissant is put in the microwave in error and turns out a sticky mess. I'm too hungry to care. The boys aren't far away as I head out of town looking for a turning to Sutton Veny. Beyond I stop at The Courtyard Café, The Ginger Piggery, Boyton - recommended. Despite phone contact the boys have got ahead and we meet up much further down the track at the The Royal Oak, Langford Rd, Great Wishford, where we sit in the garden opposite, dosing on ice creams, tea and cola. We carry on to Wilton.
Our route takes us into the centre of Salisbury where we stop briefly at the Cathedral. Many jokes about Russian visitors and Edward Heath.
I get tailed off on a long climb in the countryside and feel thoroughly discouraged (following National Cycle Route 24, drifting too far east.)
I reach Romsey in error where I stop to ask a man on a Brompton the way to Ower. He directs me on to the only route up a busy dual-carriageway. At the top of the hill he stops in his Honda in a layby to rescue me. I fold the bike for the short car ride to the Mortimer Arms, Romsey Road, Ower, SO51 6AF. An act of kindness by a Knight of the Road. 70 plus miles - too far for a first day. Booked table for excellent huge meal. 3 rooms reserved: £178.50.

Day 5 - 10 Sept 2018

Via Totton to Southampton, where a large cruise ship is docked. We cross the Itchen on the busy road bridge - I cycle all the way as I'm too frightened to stop. Shortly we are in aircraft country with many historic associations, monuments etc. Pitstop outdoors at Jenny's Cafe, High St, Hamble-le-Rice (in a cobbled street opposite The Victory pub).
First of three ferries from Hamble to Warsash in a pink tub. We head for the coast, past an airfield and hovercraft museum, to Lee-on-Solent. Pitstop at seafront Leon's Bistro, 15 Marine Parade W, Lee-on-the-Solent - pretty average, unfriendly staff.
Ferry from Gosport, across Portsmouth Harbour, to Portsmouth. We see Brompton Dock for renting Brompton bicyles. Then eastbound for Hayling Island ferry.
Shouts of "Man in the water" and "Man overboard." We are in the middle of a real life emergency. He hasn't fallen from our boat but he is in the water alright, in a vicious rushing tide. I make myself useful by signalling to him that we have seen him (not virtue signalling). I hold the rope while a crew member lowers a ladder and we haul the bloodied man from the water and rescue his upturned rowboat. We have to return to dock on the Portsmouth side to await an ambulance. A Mayday call to the coastguard has to be resolved. Eventually we reach Hayling Island and all is well.
We take the coastal Hayling Billy bike path to Havant, route of an old railway line. I marvel at the toughness of modern Schwalbe bike tyres for they are being truly punished here. (Havant was the jumping off point for the Broken Spoke Tour in 2016.) Welcome pitstop at Caffè Nero, 8 West St, Havant PO9 1PF.
Hard charging on A259 to Chichester. To the George & Dragon, 51 North St, Chichester, PO19 1NQ. £195 for three rooms, incl breakfast. Good value. Choice of real ales. Very welcoming chap at the bar.
Walk to Prezzo, 61 South St, Chichester. At Prezzo Jack works his magic whereby a special offer obtained by phone from the internet significantly reduced the bill.

Day 6 - 11 Sept 2018

A coastal run from Chichester to Lewes, via Brighton, pushed along by a strong westerly tailwind. A little rain.
We depart town via the Chichester Canal southbound for Bognor. Macaris Cafe, 46A London Rd, Bognor Regis, for coffee stop in a pedestrian area of town (indoors much like an old folks home). Then following the seafront where possible.
We get separated in an interminable housing estate, as I miss a difficult-to-see roadsign. Then I'm stuck on the A259 towards Littlehampton. Watching the destination boards on the buses for clues as to which way to go. I cross the Arun by the footbridge adjacent to Littlehampton Marina, via Ferry Road. Working my way eastward forced back to the A259. Cut south to Goring-by-Sea. Irritated by signs saying "to the station" - what damn station? Held up at level crossings. At last a sign for Worthing and I'm charging along the seafront to the pier when Richard emerges from a cafe on my left. We meet up at View Café & Bar, 70 Marine Parade, Worthing. Suitable.
We crossed the River Adur via the Adur Ferry Bridge, just after passing The Waterside pub. Jack is now in familiar territory and we enjoy the industrial vibe of Shoreham Port, crossing back over the river at the lock gates and proceeding along Basin Road South. Through Hove to Brighton where I get my first look at the British Airways i360, a tall observation tower. We reach Lewes by mid-afternoon. The stretch from Southampton to Brighton could occupy a pleasant week with time for attractions, museums etc.

Lessons/Reflections

1. To save weight, apart from a couple of local walking maps we did not take roadmaps for our route, especially the more difficult and exhausting first 3 days. We thought we could rely mainly on pre-planning and satnav. Mistake! When slightly lost, we ended up mystified as to the direction of travel in relation to signposted towns.

2. The National Cycle Network routes/signage are generally very useful but in some key places the signs completely disappeared (eg middle of Salisbury). There were also routes which were downright dangerous due to fast-moving heavy traffic.

3. The Moultons were excellent, and definitely more capable and comfortable than Bromptons, but the unaccustomed handlebar grips over such long distances caused Jack to have lasting numbness in palms and fingertips from which recovery has been slow.

4. The supremacy of Brompton luggage arrangements remains unchallenged.

5. Overall, a very hard ride!

Uphill Battle Tour

For their autumn tour Jack and Richard chose two Moulton bicycles to ride from near Oswestry, Shropshire to Lewes in Sussex. Rupert to join in for the second half on a Brompton.
Jack arrived at Gobowen by train, with Moulton. Collected from there. Abi curry in evening. Next day walk along the canal to breakfast at Village Pantry, Llanymynech. Explored Heritage Area, and estate. Couple of pints in Cross Guns that night, very quiet. Set off next morning about nine.
Jack's Moulton (fourth Bike-to-Work purchase!) is a 2013 TSR27, with SRAM Dual-Drive, ie 9 speeds on a cassette, with 3 hub gears. Much modified: telescopic Brompton seatpost for extra height; raised handlebar stem, straight bars replaced by drops. Replacement brakes to accommodate the new levers. Richard’s is an APB R18, ie 9 speed cassette, 2 chainwheels. The R18s were the final and best specced evolution of the APB model. Preceded the introduction of the TSR range.

Day 1 - 5 Sept 2018

Very big first day. No accurate mileage to hand but we believe circa 85 miles, breaking the all-time tour record. Extraordinarily hilly route selected by the satnav to Wenlock Edge. Much needed drinks in Bridgnorth. No route along the steam railway. Shoulder after shoulder of hills, quite dispiriting. Just like the hilly sections of the Vélo Birmingham were, and we are staying overnight in one of those parts, Bewdley, at the Mercure. Declaration of insanity to the hotel staff scored us a free pint. Jack had a very slow speed off, pulling away, in Shrewsbury, possibly the result of a pannier jamming the steering. Minor cuts but nasty bruise to thigh, exacerbated by Jack's insistence on wearing rubber pants. We ate in at the Bewdley Mercure and the Gloucester Sawmills End Ibis. Good fare at both, not over-priced. Both too exhausted to venture elsewhere! Mercure Bewdley, Heath Hotel, Habberley Road, Bewdley, DY12 1LA. 1 twin room: £98.11.

Day 2 - 6 Sept 2018

Bewdley to Gloucester, via Stourport, Ombersley, Worcester and Tewkesbury, perhaps about 60 miles. Stops at Ombersley (posh cafe) and Worcester (Severn Cafe). A number of hills, but with a purpose, taking one up onto ridges, not like yesterday's endless roller-coaster. Some light rain. Drivers well behaved. Gorgeous views of the Malverns. Unfortunate rear puncture on my APB just five or six miles short of Gloucester, but sorted in half an hour. Good digs at the Ibis. Ibis Gloucester, Sawmills End, Corinium Avenue, Gloucester, GL4 3DG. 2 rooms: £88.

Day 3 - 7 Sept 2018

Gloucester to Bath, in all likelihood about 70 miles. The toughest day's cycling, in terms of hills, I've ever experienced. As we exited Gloucester we went into the centre to Eastgate Cycles in order to replace the accident-causing pannier, with one which clipped more securely to the frame. £20. Friendly service from proprietor who told us how tough trading conditions were for a traditionally-run cycle shop. Lovely first section along the canal. In an effort to get away from the A38 we ended up climbing Frocester Hill, up the side of the Cotswolds Hills. At 10%+ this was a long slog of a walk. Lovely roads over the top though, including along the Fosse Way, quiet fast miles. Beautiful around arboretum.
Bath expected to be hilly, but not as much as it turned out. Utterly exhausted, up hill and down dale to get to the university. Devonshire and Combe Down railway tunnels, now part of a cycling route, fantastic pieces of engineering - the latter is over a mile long - but do not appear to provide access to the university, much as the geography suggests they should. Had to double back, down hill then back up. Long push up final Medlock Hill to the University. Jack exhausted. (A subsequent examination of Google Maps suggested that there may well have been a much gentler level route to the university from the end of the second tunnel - confirming Richard’s speculation at the time based on place names. Pity the locals we asked did not know about it!)
Believe we have done c.220 miles over the last three days. Day off tomorrow, with just a journey to Bradford-on-Avon and back. Rupert joins the tour tomorrow afternoon.

Day off - 8 Sept 2018

I am riding a Brompton six-speed titanium ‘M’ model from 2008. (Jack's first Bike-to-Work bike, kindly on loan from Andy Thomas.) I take the train Lewes-Brighton. Then 09:00 direct service to Bradford-on-Avon, via Southampton, arriving midday. Lunch at Ravello, 1-2 St Margaret's St, Bradford-on-Avon.
To Moulton Bicycle Club Rally at the factory, with the Moulton fundies. We manage to negotiate a reduction for me on entry at £5. Pump up the tyres on the Brompton, badly needed. Cycle to Bath University, Claverton Down, via Kennett & Avon canal towpath, pushing the bike up Claverton Hill at the end. Overnight in cheap and cheerful digs, grub and beers in Uni bar. Reminded me of the old days in Durham. University of Bath, Eastwood, Norwood Avenue, Claverton Down, Bath, BA2 7PD. £38 approx per bed night. Good value.

Day 4 - 9 Sept 2018

For me the 'deep end' as I join the tour. We retrace our steps to Bradford-on-Avon via the canal towpath. Stop at Tourist Information for directions. Instead of continuing south-east to Trowbridge, we cut south-west to Farleigh Hungerford, where we see a motocross event and the ancient castle. A bunch of passing cyclists are headed to Longleat. We carry on to the Cross Keys pub at Rode, Somerset, where Pauline and Mark provide a free cup of tea. It is just amazing how fair people can be. "Come back and stay!" they say. A classic Bentley convertible pulls up to ask for directions.
I lose the boys on the A36 and turn off to Dilton Marsh, hoping they will catch up. I reach Westbury and cut south to Warminster on the unpleasant A350. I divert via Upton Scudamore in search of quieter roads. On the approach to Warminster a service area is disappointingly closed for repairs, so I head into town in search of money and grub. After cashing up at Barclays I stop at Coffee #1, 30 Market Place, Warminster for a snack - a cheese croissant is put in the microwave in error and turns out a sticky mess. I'm too hungry to care. The boys aren't far away as I head out of town looking for a turning to Sutton Veny. Beyond I stop at The Courtyard Café, The Ginger Piggery, Boyton - recommended. Despite phone contact the boys have got ahead and we meet up much further down the track at the The Royal Oak, Langford Rd, Great Wishford, where we sit in the garden opposite, dosing on ice creams, tea and cola. We carry on to Wilton.
Our route takes us into the centre of Salisbury where we stop briefly at the Cathedral. Many jokes about Russian visitors and Edward Heath.
I get tailed off on a long climb in the countryside and feel thoroughly discouraged (following National Cycle Route 24, drifting too far east.)
I reach Romsey in error where I stop to ask a man on a Brompton the way to Ower. He directs me on to the only route up a busy dual-carriageway. At the top of the hill he stops in his Honda in a layby to rescue me. I fold the bike for the short car ride to the Mortimer Arms, Romsey Road, Ower, SO51 6AF. An act of kindness by a Knight of the Road. 70 plus miles - too far for a first day. Booked table for excellent huge meal. 3 rooms reserved: £178.50.

Day 5 - 10 Sept 2018

Via Totton to Southampton, where a large cruise ship is docked. We cross the Itchen on the busy road bridge - I cycle all the way as I'm too frightened to stop. Shortly we are in aircraft country with many historic associations, monuments etc. Pitstop outdoors at Jenny's Cafe, High St, Hamble-le-Rice (in a cobbled street opposite The Victory pub).
First of three ferries from Hamble to Warsash in a pink tub. We head for the coast, past an airfield and hovercraft museum, to Lee-on-Solent. Pitstop at seafront Leon's Bistro, 15 Marine Parade W, Lee-on-the-Solent - pretty average, unfriendly staff.
Ferry from Gosport, across Portsmouth Harbour, to Portsmouth. We see Brompton Dock for renting Brompton bicyles. Then eastbound for Hayling Island ferry.
Shouts of "Man in the water" and "Man overboard." We are in the middle of a real life emergency. He hasn't fallen from our boat but he is in the water alright, in a vicious rushing tide. I make myself useful by signalling to him that we have seen him (not virtue signalling). I hold the rope while a crew member lowers a ladder and we haul the bloodied man from the water and rescue his upturned rowboat. We have to return to dock on the Portsmouth side to await an ambulance. A Mayday call to the coastguard has to be resolved. Eventually we reach Hayling Island and all is well.
We take the coastal Hayling Billy bike path to Havant, route of an old railway line. I marvel at the toughness of modern Schwalbe bike tyres for they are being truly punished here. (Havant was the jumping off point for the Broken Spoke Tour in 2016.) Welcome pitstop at Caffè Nero, 8 West St, Havant PO9 1PF.
Hard charging on A259 to Chichester. To the George & Dragon, 51 North St, Chichester, PO19 1NQ. £195 for three rooms, incl breakfast. Good value. Choice of real ales. Very welcoming chap at the bar.
Walk to Prezzo, 61 South St, Chichester. At Prezzo Jack works his magic whereby a special offer obtained by phone from the internet significantly reduced the bill.

Day 6 - 11 Sept 2018

A coastal run from Chichester to Lewes, via Brighton, pushed along by a strong westerly tailwind. A little rain.
We depart town via the Chichester Canal southbound for Bognor. Macaris Cafe, 46A London Rd, Bognor Regis, for coffee stop in a pedestrian area of town (indoors much like an old folks home). Then following the seafront where possible.
We get separated in an interminable housing estate, as I miss a difficult-to-see roadsign. Then I'm stuck on the A259 towards Littlehampton. Watching the destination boards on the buses for clues as to which way to go. I cross the Arun by the footbridge adjacent to Littlehampton Marina, via Ferry Road. Working my way eastward forced back to the A259. Cut south to Goring-by-Sea. Irritated by signs saying "to the station" - what damn station? Held up at level crossings. At last a sign for Worthing and I'm charging along the seafront to the pier when Richard emerges from a cafe on my left. We meet up at View Café & Bar, 70 Marine Parade, Worthing. Suitable.
We crossed the River Adur via the Adur Ferry Bridge, just after passing The Waterside pub. Jack is now in familiar territory and we enjoy the industrial vibe of Shoreham Port, crossing back over the river at the lock gates and proceeding along Basin Road South. Through Hove to Brighton where I get my first look at the British Airways i360, a tall observation tower. We reach Lewes by mid-afternoon. The stretch from Southampton to Brighton could occupy a pleasant week with time for attractions, museums etc.

Lessons/Reflections

1. To save weight, apart from a couple of local walking maps we did not take roadmaps for our route, especially the more difficult and exhausting first 3 days. We thought we could rely mainly on pre-planning and satnav. Mistake! When slightly lost, we ended up mystified as to the direction of travel in relation to signposted towns.

2. The National Cycle Network routes/signage are generally very useful but in some key places the signs completely disappeared (eg middle of Salisbury). There were also routes which were downright dangerous due to fast-moving heavy traffic.

3. The Moultons were excellent, and definitely more capable and comfortable than Bromptons, but the unaccustomed handlebar grips over such long distances caused Jack to have lasting numbness in palms and fingertips from which recovery has been slow.

4. The supremacy of Brompton luggage arrangements remains unchallenged.

5. Overall, a very hard ride!

BC or Bust roadtrip

Pic by RLT.
A one-way trip to my new little house in the west. Mostly following the Trans-Canada Highway from Toronto to Sidney on Vancouver Island.
(I could have gone via the USA, but a combination of rudeness and paranoia at the border is off-putting. Their financial loss.)
My 2005 smart car, with trusty diesel motor, never missed a beat.
Thursday 7 June.
Depart 05:30 with a full tank of gas. Bye bye Hogtown. Election Day in Ontario and reports on the radio of a deadly shooting in Scarborough, with a cop being saved by his kevlar vest. Take the 400 Hwy north initially but turn off via Kleinburg, Nobleton, Thornton on Hwy 27. Taking a last look at familiar places. Back on the 400 Highway at Barrie.
Pitstop at Tim Horton's, 35 Lone Pine Road, Port Severn. using up Tim's gift card. Coffee $1.77. Past Parry Sound through the rocks towards Sudbury. The 4-lane highway runs out in Canadian Shield country.
At Sudbury I divert into town for Esso Sudbury #253, 1813 Regent Street South: diesel $18.40 with discount card. Subway lunch at E4-2408 Long Lake Road, Sudbury. I leave keys in ignition.
Out of town past the giant chimneys at the mines hereabouts.
Listening to Steppenwolf - "Magic Carpet Ride"; Toby Keith - "I Love this Bar."
Now westbound thru Massey, past Elliot Lake, Lake Lauzon, Blind River, with road works and hold-ups. Arrive 15:25 at Delta Hotel, 208 St Mary's Drive, Sault Ste. Marie. Views of namesake town in Michigan across the river.
While watching election coverage in the hotel View restaurant + bar a woman is loudly dropping the 'F' bomb at regular intervals at the top of her voice. Attending a "heritage conference" is this what women fought for? (Bar tab $25.14, no alcohol.)
I take a stroll by the river. A random woman asks "Are you graduating today?" Me: "Why would I be graduating?" "You could be getting a Masters in Psychology." Me: "That is very flattering!" End of conversation.
A giant laker is in the St Mary's River: MV Indiana Harbor.
429 miles.
Friday 8 June.
Dep 05:30. Start with a wrong slot, straying west to Gros Cap, instead of north. Wasted most of an hour in the boondocks running short of gas. High anxiety. Happy to reach Trading Post Esso, The Trading Post, 1332 Great Northern Road, Sault Ste-Marie at 06:34.
Through miles of gravel roadworks to breakfast off the road at Twilight Resort, Hwy 17 North, Montreal River Harbour. A self-described greasy spoon in a shack, we talk of the old days. This was a camp for conscientious objectors in WW2, mostly Mennonites, who were interned and put to building roads. There were also POW camps in the district, some prisoners stayed on after the war. Nowadays there is a mixture of holiday makers and contractors working on local building projects at this lakeside resort.

Pic by RLT.
I stop to talk to Dale Walker, cycling on his Trek 520 to Minneapolis to see family. I help him out with some water and three energy bars. I couldn't help with "medical marijuana." He has been on some epic cycling tours: https://www.peacefulvalleywalker.com/
I stop at the Visitor Centre for Lake Superior Provincial Park on Highway 17. A kind lady from Abbotsford B.C. takes an interest in the smart car with the "B.C. or Bust" sign. I see more cyclists.
I stop for gas at Esso on the main highway at Wawa: $10.05. Then at Tim Horton's I encounter a couple from Zurich/Montreal who are attempting Ottawa to Vancouver by bicycle. I stop to help another cyclist but no help required - he is simply walking up a hill - no shame in that.
Through Schreiber, ON, a railway town. Stop at Esso Terrace Bay, Hwy 17, diesel $17.40. A man with relatives in Blighty takes an interest in the smart car.
Across the new Nipigon River Bridge, with triple tower cable-stay design.
Arrive at Prince Arthur Waterfront Hotel & Suites, 17 Cumberland Street North, Thunder Bay, ON, P7A 4K8. Hotel kitty corner from the old CPR railway station. Noisy - freight trains and partying - but great view of Lake Superior. I am not feeling too good so ice cream for supper.
Listening to: Johnny Paycheck "Take this job and shove it!"
464 miles.
Saturday 9 June.
Dep 05:42. Find Trans-Canada Highway (TCH) no trouble. Gas at Shell Canada Products, 4794 Highway 11 & 17, Kakabeka Falls at 06:16. Happy to find diesel at this early hour.
Breakfast stop at Black Spruce Motel & Old Country Kitchen, south of Upsala. Breakfast special $5.99, coffee with refill $1.99. Sixties music playing. The good ol' boys have been fishing.
Listening to CBC "bang on" politically correct radio - some lady gardeners calling themselves "eco-feminists" (since when was gardening a political statement?), endless global-warming baloney (what Canada could use is warming up a bit!).
Past Lake Wabigoon (Wobegon?). Tim Horton's at Dryden, ON, arr 09:35, lose an hour. Ask for mug, not disposable cup. The drive-through is choc-a-bloc. Nearby take gas at BG Fuels Gas Bar #3878, 647 Government Road, Dryden, ON. ($16.11). Clean windscreen. Stop at garage sale on exit of town, there is a table of tools but nothing has my name on it.
Endless pickup trucks towing boats. The road is empty for stretches - motoring as she used to be.
Divert through Kenora and Lake of the Woods. 12:40 reach Manitoba, three days of riding through the rocks comes to an end, as I have reached the Prairies. Speed limit rises to a more sensible 100km.
On to Winnipeg - arrive at Travelodge at 14:39 but it is sold out. So to Canad Inns Destination Centre Windsor Park, 1034 Elizabeth Road, Winnipeg, where I apparently get the last room at 15:10. A peculiar hotel where they demand a $200 deposit on the room. Crash out until 21:00 approx - I must have been tired. Snack in hotel $17.67 incl tip, avoiding mayo. There are freight trains and a busy road at the end of the street.
Good Lovelies play Mariposa Folk Festival, Orillia, ON, Sunday July 8th.
432 miles, running total for three days 1,325 miles.
Sunday 10 June.
Dep 05:00. Signposted out through Winnipeg city centre, not a snag at this time of day. Turning left at Union Station, I can't help thinking of George Ernest Willmett. Followed by a cop car for a while - unnerving. Take gas at Petro-Canada, 2607 Portage Avenue, Winnipeg, at 05:35: $15.
Early morning fog, past Portage La Prairie, to a stop at Sidney, Manitoba - a rather dog-eared town with a rusty old Pontiac Parisienne taking pride of place, amongst other vintage tin.

Pic by RLT.
Stop at Brandon on TCH for fry-up at A&W (The Dub). The good ol' boys are in residence:
"You going out to the lake?"
"Don't do anything till I get back!"
Listening to The Farm country radio: Chris Janson: "Drunk Girl" (are drinking songs back in fashion?); Dierks Bentley: "What was I Thinking?" Radio reception much better on the Prairies.
Gas at Esso Amethyst Stores Ltd, Trans Canada Highway, Elkhorn at 10:13 - $14.40. Past Moosomin, SK, where the Red Barn is a favourite stop.
Wind and hail warnings on the radio. Travel-trailers fishtailing on the highway. Horrible wrong slot at Regina - a sign simply says road closed ahead - no advice about what to do. I turn south drifting eastward to Krona.
After a spell on gravel roads where I am cursing loudly I regain the TCH, finally back on the black stuff. After passing Reed Lake I reach the Holiday Inn Express, 1301 North Service Rd E, Swift Current ($125.67). The local Co-op is closed, so I dine at Tim Horton's, making a big effort to rehydrate.
551 miles - the Queen Stage.
Monday 11 June.
Dep 05:43. A mama duck and brood are attempting to cross the TCH. I hoot loudly and they flee in another direction. I fear for them. Soon after a stag is crossing the road in front of my car, more hooting to deter two followers. Let us hope they made it. Too much roadkill on the highway testifies to daily carnage.
Gas at Gull Lake Esso, Junction Hwy 1 E and Hwy 37 N, Gull Lake, SK at 06:32. The cashier berates me for cleaning more than the glass on the smart car: "No washing!" Good breakfast at adjacent International Diner, Gull Lake, deserved $5 dollar tip. I'm told the boss is an Englishman, speciality English fish and chips.
Gas at Shell Canada Products, 1343 TransCanada Way, Medecine Hat: $10.
Drizzle. I can see the Rockies at last from 100 miles away. Stop at splendid rest area. Chat to local couple heading out to a summer job with a big rig.
Gas at Calgary Co-op Edgefield Gas Bar, 140 Edgefield Place, Strathmere, AB: Total $13, $1.229 per litre. (Due to a collapse in civility in Canada you have to prepay for gas in many places, which leads to a guessing game as to how much you need. Get it wrong and you have to go back for change - that is two transactions instead of one.)
To Co-op store, bought lunch, on quick look round prices seemed higher than in Toronto. Buying beef is everywhere promoted. Cowboy hats are popular in store, both customers and staff.
I take a huge loop around Calgary, with a pitstop for a pic-nic about 50 miles short of Banff in another rest area. Views of snowy mountains. A huge traffic jam is developing eastbound.
Banff has succumbed to mass tourism and is not a pleasant experience. Prices are through the roof. I drive the strip as endless tourists disembark from buses. Managed to find a room at Bumpers Inn: interminable check-in procedures, crashed out at 18:00. $232.37.
402 miles.
Tuesday 12 June.
Dep Banff 04:55 for a day of endless mountains. Good idea to go early avoiding traffic and grockles. To Lake Louise for a short tour, taking in the old log railway station from 1910.
Kicking Horse Pass (fantastic), stop at spiral railway tunnels, then down Ten Mile Hill. Cyclists are coming the other way. Crazy. Dropped in at the tiny village of Field, BC, but it was closed. (I am now in B.C.) On to Golden, BC, for gas ($20) and A&W breakfast. Through Rogers Pass to Revelstoke, a railway town with museum, where I take tea at the Main Street Cafe, served by a girl from Melbourne, Australia.
I cut south towards Kelowna, pitstop at Safeway Vernon Square, 4300 32 Street, Vernon for gas $15.00 and a drinkable yoghurt $1.04.
Then at helpful Kelowna tourist information with maps. Over the mountains to Merritt, after struggling to find turn-off. I consider stopping here for the night but think better of it, plenty of cheap motels but not much more than a logging camp.
I carry on to Hope, arriving at Best Continental Motel, 860 Fraser Ave at 17:25 approx. I manage to negotiate a room on the ground floor at Seniors rate, $89.27 - saves battling upstairs with luggage. Good value. To Rollo's Restaurant, next door, a delightful old-fashioned diner, three courses $27 incl tip. Friendly staff, recommended. I take a short stroll after dinner and spot a row of charging points for Tesla electric cars.
Pic by RLT.
Hope has the mountains like Banff but none of the gouging. I prefer it.
467 miles.
Wednesday 13 June.
Dep 05:00. Find Chevron gas station at Hope - open early. Take coffee while chatting with the cashier about the old days on the Saanich Peninsula (where I am headed) - he laments the loss of commercial daffodil growing, pushed out by development of subdivisions.
Running in the rain in heavy traffic on the TCH. Stop at a welcome rest area where there are many rabbits. Through the southern outskirts of Vancouver.
Reach Tsawwassen for B.C. Ferries "Spirit of Vancouver Island" 09:00 sailing to Swartz Bay (Undersize vehicle and driver: $72.50). Take Starbucks breakfast at Tsawwassen Quay Market. We depart ten minutes late but the captain says he will make up the time. Car alarms keep going off on the car decks. We pass "The Spirit of British Columbia," headed the other way, in the narrows. Rapid unloading at Swartz Bay and I arrive at the house in Sidney at 11.02.
107 miles, total for trip 2,852 miles.

BC or Bust roadtrip

Pic by RLT.
A one-way trip to my new little house in the west. Mostly following the Trans-Canada Highway from Toronto to Sidney on Vancouver Island.
(I could have gone via the USA, but a combination of rudeness and paranoia at the border is off-putting. Their financial loss.)
My 2005 smart car, with trusty diesel motor, never missed a beat.
Thursday 7 June.
Depart 05:30 with a full tank of gas. Bye bye Hogtown. Election Day in Ontario and reports on the radio of a deadly shooting in Scarborough, with a cop being saved by his kevlar vest. Take the 400 Hwy north initially but turn off via Kleinburg, Nobleton, Thornton on Hwy 27. Taking a last look at familiar places. Back on the 400 Highway at Barrie.
Pitstop at Tim Horton's, 35 Lone Pine Road, Port Severn. using up Tim's gift card. Coffee $1.77. Past Parry Sound through the rocks towards Sudbury. The 4-lane highway runs out in Canadian Shield country.
At Sudbury I divert into town for Esso Sudbury #253, 1813 Regent Street South: diesel $18.40 with discount card. Subway lunch at E4-2408 Long Lake Road, Sudbury. I leave keys in ignition.
Out of town past the giant chimneys at the mines hereabouts.
Listening to Steppenwolf - "Magic Carpet Ride"; Toby Keith - "I Love this Bar."
Now westbound thru Massey, past Elliot Lake, Lake Lauzon, Blind River, with road works and hold-ups. Arrive 15:25 at Delta Hotel, 208 St Mary's Drive, Sault Ste. Marie. Views of namesake town in Michigan across the river.
While watching election coverage in the hotel View restaurant + bar a woman is loudly dropping the 'F' bomb at regular intervals at the top of her voice. Attending a "heritage conference" is this what women fought for? (Bar tab $25.14, no alcohol.)
I take a stroll by the river. A random woman asks "Are you graduating today?" Me: "Why would I be graduating?" "You could be getting a Masters in Psychology." Me: "That is very flattering!" End of conversation.
A giant laker is in the St Mary's River: MV Indiana Harbor.
429 miles.
Friday 8 June.
Dep 05:30. Start with a wrong slot, straying west to Gros Cap, instead of north. Wasted most of an hour in the boondocks running short of gas. High anxiety. Happy to reach Trading Post Esso, The Trading Post, 1332 Great Northern Road, Sault Ste-Marie at 06:34.
Through miles of gravel roadworks to breakfast off the road at Twilight Resort, Hwy 17 North, Montreal River Harbour. A self-described greasy spoon in a shack, we talk of the old days. This was a camp for conscientious objectors in WW2, mostly Mennonites, who were interned and put to building roads. There were also POW camps in the district, some prisoners stayed on after the war. Nowadays there is a mixture of holiday makers and contractors working on local building projects at this lakeside resort.

Pic by RLT.
I stop to talk to Dale Walker, cycling on his Trek 520 to Minneapolis to see family. I help him out with some water and three energy bars. I couldn't help with "medical marijuana." He has been on some epic cycling tours: https://www.peacefulvalleywalker.com/
I stop at the Visitor Centre for Lake Superior Provincial Park on Highway 17. A kind lady from Abbotsford B.C. takes an interest in the smart car with the "B.C. or Bust" sign. I see more cyclists.
I stop for gas at Esso on the main highway at Wawa: $10.05. Then at Tim Horton's I encounter a couple from Zurich/Montreal who are attempting Ottawa to Vancouver by bicycle. I stop to help another cyclist but no help required - he is simply walking up a hill - no shame in that.
Through Schreiber, ON, a railway town. Stop at Esso Terrace Bay, Hwy 17, diesel $17.40. A man with relatives in Blighty takes an interest in the smart car.
Across the new Nipigon River Bridge, with triple tower cable-stay design.
Arrive at Prince Arthur Waterfront Hotel & Suites, 17 Cumberland Street North, Thunder Bay, ON, P7A 4K8. Hotel kitty corner from the old CPR railway station. Noisy - freight trains and partying - but great view of Lake Superior. I am not feeling too good so ice cream for supper.
Listening to: Johnny Paycheck "Take this job and shove it!"
464 miles.
Saturday 9 June.
Dep 05:42. Find Trans-Canada Highway (TCH) no trouble. Gas at Shell Canada Products, 4794 Highway 11 & 17, Kakabeka Falls at 06:16. Happy to find diesel at this early hour.
Breakfast stop at Black Spruce Motel & Old Country Kitchen, south of Upsala. Breakfast special $5.99, coffee with refill $1.99. Sixties music playing. The good ol' boys have been fishing.
Listening to CBC "bang on" politically correct radio - some lady gardeners calling themselves "eco-feminists" (since when was gardening a political statement?), endless global-warming baloney (what Canada could use is warming up a bit!).
Past Lake Wabigoon (Wobegon?). Tim Horton's at Dryden, ON, arr 09:35, lose an hour. Ask for mug, not disposable cup. The drive-through is choc-a-bloc. Nearby take gas at BG Fuels Gas Bar #3878, 647 Government Road, Dryden, ON. ($16.11). Clean windscreen. Stop at garage sale on exit of town, there is a table of tools but nothing has my name on it.
Endless pickup trucks towing boats. The road is empty for stretches - motoring as she used to be.
Divert through Kenora and Lake of the Woods. 12:40 reach Manitoba, three days of riding through the rocks comes to an end, as I have reached the Prairies. Speed limit rises to a more sensible 100km.
On to Winnipeg - arrive at Travelodge at 14:39 but it is sold out. So to Canad Inns Destination Centre Windsor Park, 1034 Elizabeth Road, Winnipeg, where I apparently get the last room at 15:10. A peculiar hotel where they demand a $200 deposit on the room. Crash out until 21:00 approx - I must have been tired. Snack in hotel $17.67 incl tip, avoiding mayo. There are freight trains and a busy road at the end of the street.
Good Lovelies play Mariposa Folk Festival, Orillia, ON, Sunday July 8th.
432 miles, running total for three days 1,325 miles.
Sunday 10 June.
Dep 05:00. Signposted out through Winnipeg city centre, not a snag at this time of day. Turning left at Union Station, I can't help thinking of George Ernest Willmett. Followed by a cop car for a while - unnerving. Take gas at Petro-Canada, 2607 Portage Avenue, Winnipeg, at 05:35: $15.
Early morning fog, past Portage La Prairie, to a stop at Sidney, Manitoba - a rather dog-eared town with a rusty old Pontiac Parisienne taking pride of place, amongst other vintage tin.

Pic by RLT.
Stop at Brandon on TCH for fry-up at A&W (The Dub). The good ol' boys are in residence:
"You going out to the lake?"
"Don't do anything till I get back!"
Listening to The Farm country radio: Chris Janson: "Drunk Girl" (are drinking songs back in fashion?); Dierks Bentley: "What was I Thinking?" Radio reception much better on the Prairies.
Gas at Esso Amethyst Stores Ltd, Trans Canada Highway, Elkhorn at 10:13 - $14.40. Past Moosomin, SK, where the Red Barn is a favourite stop.
Wind and hail warnings on the radio. Travel-trailers fishtailing on the highway. Horrible wrong slot at Regina - a sign simply says road closed ahead - no advice about what to do. I turn south drifting eastward to Krona.
After a spell on gravel roads where I am cursing loudly I regain the TCH, finally back on the black stuff. After passing Reed Lake I reach the Holiday Inn Express, 1301 North Service Rd E, Swift Current ($125.67). The local Co-op is closed, so I dine at Tim Horton's, making a big effort to rehydrate.
551 miles - the Queen Stage.
Monday 11 June.
Dep 05:43. A mama duck and brood are attempting to cross the TCH. I hoot loudly and they flee in another direction. I fear for them. Soon after a stag is crossing the road in front of my car, more hooting to deter two followers. Let us hope they made it. Too much roadkill on the highway testifies to daily carnage.
Gas at Gull Lake Esso, Junction Hwy 1 E and Hwy 37 N, Gull Lake, SK at 06:32. The cashier berates me for cleaning more than the glass on the smart car: "No washing!" Good breakfast at adjacent International Diner, Gull Lake, deserved $5 dollar tip. I'm told the boss is an Englishman, speciality English fish and chips.
Gas at Shell Canada Products, 1343 TransCanada Way, Medecine Hat: $10.
Drizzle. I can see the Rockies at last from 100 miles away. Stop at splendid rest area. Chat to local couple heading out to a summer job with a big rig.
Gas at Calgary Co-op Edgefield Gas Bar, 140 Edgefield Place, Strathmere, AB: Total $13, $1.229 per litre. (Due to a collapse in civility in Canada you have to prepay for gas in many places, which leads to a guessing game as to how much you need. Get it wrong and you have to go back for change - that is two transactions instead of one.)
To Co-op store, bought lunch, on quick look round prices seemed higher than in Toronto. Buying beef is everywhere promoted. Cowboy hats are popular in store, both customers and staff.
I take a huge loop around Calgary, with a pitstop for a pic-nic about 50 miles short of Banff in another rest area. Views of snowy mountains. A huge traffic jam is developing eastbound.
Banff has succumbed to mass tourism and is not a pleasant experience. Prices are through the roof. I drive the strip as endless tourists disembark from buses. Managed to find a room at Bumpers Inn: interminable check-in procedures, crashed out at 18:00. $232.37.
402 miles.
Tuesday 12 June.
Dep Banff 04:55 for a day of endless mountains. Good idea to go early avoiding traffic and grockles. To Lake Louise for a short tour, taking in the old log railway station from 1910.
Kicking Horse Pass (fantastic), stop at spiral railway tunnels, then down Ten Mile Hill. Cyclists are coming the other way. Crazy. Dropped in at the tiny village of Field, BC, but it was closed. (I am now in B.C.) On to Golden, BC, for gas ($20) and A&W breakfast. Through Rogers Pass to Revelstoke, a railway town with museum, where I take tea at the Main Street Cafe, served by a girl from Melbourne, Australia.
I cut south towards Kelowna, pitstop at Safeway Vernon Square, 4300 32 Street, Vernon for gas $15.00 and a drinkable yoghurt $1.04.
Then at helpful Kelowna tourist information with maps. Over the mountains to Merritt, after struggling to find turn-off. I consider stopping here for the night but think better of it, plenty of cheap motels but not much more than a logging camp.
I carry on to Hope, arriving at Best Continental Motel, 860 Fraser Ave at 17:25 approx. I manage to negotiate a room on the ground floor at Seniors rate, $89.27 - saves battling upstairs with luggage. Good value. To Rollo's Restaurant, next door, a delightful old-fashioned diner, three courses $27 incl tip. Friendly staff, recommended. I take a short stroll after dinner and spot a row of charging points for Tesla electric cars. 
Pic by RLT.
Hope has the mountains like Banff but none of the gouging. I prefer it.
467 miles.
Wednesday 13 June.
Dep 05:00. Find Chevron gas station at Hope - open early. Take coffee while chatting with the cashier about the old days on the Saanich Peninsula (where I am headed) - he laments the loss of commercial daffodil growing, pushed out by development of subdivisions.
Running in the rain in heavy traffic on the TCH. Stop at a welcome rest area where there are many rabbits. Through the southern outskirts of Vancouver.
Reach Tsawwassen for B.C. Ferries "Spirit of Vancouver Island" 09:00 sailing to Swartz Bay (Undersize vehicle and driver: $72.50). Take Starbucks breakfast at Tsawwassen Quay Market. We depart ten minutes late but the captain says he will make up the time. Car alarms keep going off on the car decks. We pass "The Spirit of British Columbia," headed the other way, in the narrows. Rapid unloading at Swartz Bay and I arrive at the house in Sidney at 11.02.
107 miles, total for trip 2,852 miles.

Brexit Tour - May 2018

Pic by RLT, click to enlarge.
For our Brexit bicycle tour we chose to ride from Prague to Hamburg on the British Brompton bicycle, broadly following the Elbe river.
Cobblestones plagued our route, more suitable for tanks! We enjoyed numerous sightings of Skoda, Tatra, Trabant, Wartburg, Barkas, Ape and Simson. The two-stroke culture of the old DDR continues to fascinate.
A tale of spokes, sporks and spargel, it was a case of "Auf Wiedersehen Pet!"
553 miles plus in total.
Tues 1st May
Rail: Lewes to Koln. Lewes - St Pancras - Brussels - Koln. Ticket PBZHBW 1st class. Depart Lewes early doors for the smoke.
08.54 St Pancras to Brussels-Midi 12.02. Breakfast on the train. Train quiet after Lille.
Change at Brussels-Midi, the station in a shambles amid remodelling chaos, befitting the capital of Europe.
12.25 Brussels-Midi to Koln Hbf 14.15. Interesting station at Liege.
IBIS hotel, Koln Am Dom, Bahnhofsvorplatz Altstadt-Nord, 50667 Koln (actually part of the station) +49 221 9128580. 1 night, 3 rooms. €249. Top digs.
Walk across the Hohenzollern bridge and down the Rhine river. Welcome meal at Curios Bistro & Cafe, Theodor-Heuss-Ring 62, 50668 Köln. Doleful beagle begging at tables. Beers at Le Bar Perron, Wyndham Köln Hotel, Breslauer Platz 2, 50668 Köln and also back at the hotel. Warnings everywhere about scofflaws and pickpockets. Good plan to finish the night safely indoors. (Richard visited the cathedral, next to our hotel.)
Wed 2nd May
Koln to Prague Rail: Koln - Berlin - Prague Ticket 37D3GD 1st class.
08.48 Koln Hbf to Berlin Hbf 13.06.
Train via Wuppertal (suspension railway) and Wolfsburg (VW factory, home of the diesel software scandal).
The train ran late and we missed our connection for Prague at 13.19. We went into the DB First Class lounge at Berlin, (view of the Reichstag), for complementary beers and snacks.
15.19 Berlin Hbf to Praha hl.n arr 19.35.
Happy hour starts at the Czech border in a restored vintage dining car. Gambrinus bottled beer. We detrain in good order at Prague.
Bicycle to apartment. I arrive at the digs long before my companions and obtain keys. Satnav takes them to another apartment, 200 yards away, with very similar name.
Prague Royal Apartment Serikova, Serikova 7, Prague 11800, Czech Republic. Tel: +420 739 544 128. 2 nights: 2 bedroom apartment €401. Generally good but collapsing beds.
Late evening at nearby bars: Kamparium cellar bar, Říční 540/9, 118 00 Malá Strana, very cheap beer. Then Klub Ujezd - Hieronymous Bosch-like bar furniture.
Thurs 3rd May
In Prague. Gargantuan three-course breakfast at Café Slavia, Smetanovo nábř. 1012/2, 110 00 Staré Město, a spacious elegant dining room, est 1884. Tram spotting through large windows. Kyla Brox poster. Wenceslas Square with McDonald's and Starbucks. To Cafe Arco, Masarykovo railway station. Tobruk Cafe: asked for English breakfast tea, received English breakfast. €5 tip soothes the situation. Discussed route out of Prague - agreed to take the tram to avoid traffic and cobbles. Beers in Kamparium, then Pizzeria Capretto, Újezd 590/8, Malá Strana, 150 00 Praha 5-Malá Strana-Smíchov.
Fri 4th May
Stage 1, 36 miles: Prague to Roudnice nad Labem.
I have had little training for the tour, limited to about 40 miles, due to the severe winter in Canada. Jetlagged and road weary, I can only ride myself back to fitness.
Start the day at Artic Bakehouse, Újezd 11, 150 00 Malá Strana, Prague, for breakfast outdoors, then cross the river on our bikes to catch #17 tram to the Zoo (24 Kč each). The official tour commences westbound by the Vltava river, adjacent to a canoe school. The early going is deceptive on smooth tarmac, but deteriorates rapidly. This is rough stuff for Bromptons, meandering close to the river. We take tea at Restaurace Aramark, in a college at Řež.
Just when we conclude that no sensible Brompton rider would be going this way we encounter Karl-Heinz Genther on his custom Brompton with Schlumpf mountain drive. We compare notes. Should we have crossed the river and tried the paths on the other side? Coffee stop at Máslovice at a "No Name" cafe: three Turkish coffees, two hot dogs and a bowl of lentil soup with bread, €1.50.
We had intended to go on via Melnik but we notice a short cut on a map away from the river by way of Ledčice. Lunch stop at Nová Ves, in parkette next to roadside foodstore. Sporks deployed. A large hill looms ahead which we succeed in bypassing.
Arrive Ubytovani v rodinnem dome, Zizkova 706, Roudnice nad Labem, 413 01, Czech Republic. Phone +420 777 292 261. 3 rooms reserved. B&B with very good breakfast included, €80 for three, outstanding value.
A bike race is in progress with all the attendant hoopla - the Course de la Paix Juniors.
Beers and supper at Restaurace U Faustů, Pracnerova 701, 413 01 Roudnice nad Labem. The barman is anxious that we take dinner - the Czech menu being decoded by google translate - full marks for initiative.
We repair to a bar in town - cafe bar Giraffe - where a local 'builder' is displaying his bum at the bar. They claim to have no beer so we move on to Caffe & Grill Ztracená No 2, Špindlerova tř. 798, Roudnice nad Labem, altogether more convivial.
Sat 5th May

Pic by RLT
Stage 2: Roudnice nad Labem to Decin, 47 miles via Elberadweg.
To Litomerice (Czechoslovak Legions railway display), Masarykovo lock (met Swiss cycling couple on six-month trip to Baku via Kaliningrad) then lunch at Usti nad Labem (nearby a tatty administrative building is flying the EU flag, a sad reminder of this failed experiment). Last stop at roadside shack.
Hotel Ceska Koruna, Masarykovo nám. 60 , Děčín, 40502, Czech Republic, +420 412 516 104. 3 rooms reserved, Breakfast inc, €164. Good value.
A Tatra T613 is parked in the square outside our hotel. To China Restaurant Peking, in the square, where a hard-working guy is both barman and cook. Watching Giro d’Italia on TV, while twitchy patrons wait for the soccer to start.
Sun 6th May
Stage 3: Decin to Dresden, Germany (44 miles).
Enter Germany via Elberadweg. Stop at Schöna (Germany), ferry across river to Hřensko (Czechia). Hotel Labe for coffee outdoors.
Richard and Jack cross the bridge at Bad Schandau. Königstein Fortress on left, high above the river, a prison in WW2. On the east bank I am cliffed out and traverse the hillside, mostly on foot, for about 3-miles in mountain bike territory.
Ferry Stadt Wehlen to Potschau. Regrouped at Pirna bridge. Elberadweg closed, bridge under construction. Richard and Rupe cross precarious metal channel with bikes. Jack balks at excessive vibration. Regroup near Pillnitz. We arrive in Dresden via the Thomas Klewe Brücke, the Blue Wonder bridge.

Pic by RLT
Motel One Dresden, Am Zwinger, Postplatz 5, 01067 Dresden. Phone +49 351 438380. 3 rooms reserved. 2 nights €414.
I take a short cut on final approach and am there in time to order Radeburg beers for the boys on arrival in the modern foyer bar. To quirky Hans im Gluck for supper. Dessert in traditional Paulaner's.
Mon 7th May
In Dresden Motel One, Dresden Am Zwinger - as above.
Bergbahn x 2. All day tickets, tageskarte, on trams, buses, etc purchased from helpful lady near our hotel. Jack posts excess clothing home.
Ascend via Standseilbahn (funicular), drinks at Luisenhof with spectacular views of the city. Long walk and bus ride to descent via Schwebebahn (suspension railway, as in Wuppertal). Interesting chat with cafe owner at top of the suspension railway. Evening pizza in Enotria da Miri, Kleine Brüdergasse 1, 01067 Dresden.
Tues 8th May
Stage 4: Dresden to Gohlis (48 miles) via Elberadweg.

Pic by RLT
We back track to Radebeul-Ost on the east bank to see the steam railway and Dresdner Backhaus, Sidonienstr, Radebeul, a stop on a previous tour. Then to Meissen for picnic by the river (Lidl €.9.95). An unhelpful kid upbraids me for parking my bike outside his cafe, so I decide to move on from this tourist trap.
Ferry at Niederlommatzsch. The boys are about half an hour behind. Somewhere en route I notice a broken spoke.
Jack punctures at Grodel, unaided by unwelcoming householder, suspicious workshop owner.
Back together for drinks at Hotel Moritz, Dorfstraße 2, 01619 Moritz / Zeithain bei Riesa. A welcoming oasis.
Broken spoke removed at Gohlis.
Pension Remenar & Lorenz, Lindenstraße 20, Gohlis, 01619 Zeithain, phone+49 174 3336956
Apartment, in Gohlis nr Zeithain, reserved €60. (No breakfast).
Walk to supper at soccer club: SV Königsblau Sportkantine Gohlis, Waldstraße 14, 01619 Zeithain. Table knocking.
Weds 9th May
Stage 5: Gohlis to Leipzig (63 miles) by road, via Riesa.
Pitstop for coffee at Ferienhof Reichert, then breakfast in the square at Hofmann's Hutte, Oschatz. Wrong turn out of Liptitz, Jack and Richard double back, Rupe goes own way. Very few places open, very hot day.
Apartment in Leipzig reserved €84: WELCOME appt, 25 Volksgartenstraße, Nordost, 04347 Leipzig Phone +49 1522 3162914.
We split up as I head for a bike shop in Leipzig: Bike Department Ost GmbH, Karl-Liebknecht-Straße 31, 04107 Leipzig. After circling the town I reach the store circa 17:30. They are initially reluctant to help but after some wheedling two new spokes are fitted by about 18:40. €33.50 for repairs and they refuse a tip!
My tour is saved. I am so elated that I set off in the wrong direction. Despite phone contact I cannot find my companions so check into Pentahotel, Großer Brockhaus 3, 04103 Leipzig - a bike-friendly hotel very welcome in the circumstances. Club sandwich and Beck’s beer at the bar. €157.50 for the night incl bar tab.
Thurs 10th May
Stage 6: Leipzig to Dessau (48 miles) by road:
Not wishing to waste time we arrange to meet on the road, which happens by chance at Delitzsch. Everything otherwise closed - Ascension and Fathers' Day. Flowers and balloons on local bikes. Burger at roadside Thuringer Rostbratwurstgrill. Ice-creams at Raguhn.
We separate on final approach and I head for the station for necessary pitstop. I can't find the digs so I settle outside the Bauhaus where the boys finally appear. I am so tired I can hardly stand - carrying the bike up three floors at the hotel finishes me off. Richard, having shed weight all along, buys a heavy book at the Bauhaus.
Dessau 3 rooms reserved: Hotel 7 Saulen, €180, breakfast inc, near the Bauhaus. Ebertallee 66, 06846 Dessau, Phone +49 340 619620. Good hotel but no lift.
Later beers at hotel and dinner at Greek restaurant nearby: Athos, Kornhausstraße 1, 06846 Dessau-Roßlau.
Fri 11th May
Stage 7: Dessau to Magdeburg (approx 54 miles).

Pic by RB
Visit to Kornhaus by the Elbe river before leaving town. Early separation so I am back on the blackstuff and unusually for me heading the party as far as Schönebeck. Coffee at Groß Rosenburg. Ferry non-existent at Werkleitz on River Saale, so via Calbe, then stop at ice cream shop: Jannys Eis, 60, Friedrichstraße 54, 39218 Schönebeck, where the boys catch up, after various re-routings. Lidl lunch, then L51 to Magdeburg. Final approach along top of dykes. Drink in garden at Restaurant "Die Kirche", Alt Prester 86, 39114 Magdeburg. Derelict bridge on left, subject of rescue mission.
B&B Hotel Magdeburg (in Altstadt), Otto-von-Guericke-Straße 34, 39104 Magdeburg, Phone +49 391 59768280. 3 rooms reserved €402 for 2 nights. Rude receptionist, dealt with.
Shopping for shorts at C&A (€25.20), toothpaste, drugs etc. Supper at Magado, Ulrichpl. 10, 39104 Madgeburg.
Sat 12th May
In Magdeburg B&B Hotel, as above.

Pic by RB
Buy tageskarte at transit shop in town. To Green Citadel - modern "Green" building, painted pink – including courtyard coffee shop. To IKEA by tram, past Woolworth's - no sporks. Then bike shop. S-Bahn from wrecked station, in search of tower. Day trippers on vintage tram.
Evening nibbles and beers in Rupe's room, watching Giro d'Italia. Too tired for dinner.
Sun 13th May
Stage 8: Magdeburg to Stendal (53 miles).

Pic by RLT.
Breakfast a zoo at the hotel, poor value and a mistake. Magdeburg by road north to Stendal. Climb up to inspect Elbe Havel Kanal. Drinks at Angern. Then via Wolmirstedt, Loitsche, Rogatz, Angern. Sandbeiendorf, Tangerhutte, Gohre, Dahlen, Demker, Heeren.
Everywhere Sunday closing: supermarkets, cafes, shops. Ice cream at petrol station. Barkas van.
Altstadt-Hotel, Breite Straße 60, 39576 Stendal. Phone +49 3931 69890. €186. 3 rooms reserved. Good digs.
Stendal altogether pleasant. Beers at Cafe Muller, opposite the hotel, then indoors at Italian restaurant: Ristorante Gelateria Italia, Breite Str. 5, 39576 Stendal (€80.20).
Mon 14th May
Stage 9: Stendal to Domitz by road (73.4 miles).
The Queen stage, no supermarkets, cafes, shops - this is rural country. Rupe no water.
Stop at helpful bike store at Binde: Radkultur Starck.
Divert to Wolfshotel am Arendsee, then backtrack. Landlady making song and dance about serving lemonade and ice cream. How hard can it be?
On arrival cross to north of Elbe over bridge on B191 to Domitz.
Domitzer Hafen Hotel, Hafenplatz 3, 19303 Dömitz. Phone+49 38758 364290, 3 Rooms reserved, €212.
A bike-friendly hotel hugely welcome at the end of a long day. An old converted warehouse in a harbour with maritime-industrial vibe. Baffled by master-switch in bedroom. Restaurant on site - litre steins of beer with supper. Panorama Cafe on 4th floor for breakfast, great views. Recommended.

Pic by RB
Tues 15th May
Stage 10: Domitz to Luneburg (51 miles). Cross to south side of Elbe, then Damnatz (time-wasting wrong slot which kicks the stuffing out of me). Now in lockdown just hoping to survive the day, walking on the flat! Main road all the way. Stop at roadside trödelmarkt, a bust. Rendezvous at Di-Ma cafe, Dannenburg, for ice-cream.
Town centre, apartment reserved, €135. Wohnung in Luneburg, 19 Sülztorstraße, Altstadt, 21335 Lüneburg. Phone +49 176 82139462.
I lose the boys on final approach to Luneburg and am too mentally tired to go looking. After a pitstop at FRIEDAs am Wasserturm, Am Wasserturm 15, 21335 Lüneburg, I continued about 10 miles to Hotel sur Linde, Bundesstraße 8, 21423 Winsen (Rottorf). A German knight-of-the-road paced me on his electric bike and sorted out the arrangements at the hotel. The landlady arrives by smart car. €49 incl breakfast. Supper at Taverna Bei Kosta, Bundesstraße 34, 21423 Winsen (Rottorf), salad and spaghetti, a short walk from the hotel. Suitable. Bicycle racing on TV at hotel.
Weds 16th May
Stage 11: Luneburg to Hamburg (36 miles – less for me).
Set off in good order next morning to a tea stop at Soetebiers Dorfbäckerei, Harburger Straße 8, 21435 Stelle. Puzzled by "H-H" signs, which meant "Hamburg-Harburg." Not much use when in either. Finally I climb a tall dyke which gives a view of Hamburg mitte - I can see the distinctive Elbphilharmonie building in the distance. While working my way through the docks another Brompton comes up alongside and we stop with a bunch of hipsters at Odo's Kaffeeklappe, a trinkhalle in an old container, complete with grafitti, for coffee and lemonade. A Citroën DS décapotable pulls up outside with top down.

Pic by RLT
I come upon the historic Elbetunnel-St Pauli and emerge into a part of the city known to me. Made my way via the Hbf to meet the boys at a cafe table in the Hansaplatz. Lunch at Turkish restaurant: LauRes, Kreuzweg 12, 20099 Hamburg. No alcohol served.
Boutique 020 Hotel Hamburg City, Ellmenreichstr. 20, St. Georg 20099 Hamburg. Phone: +49 40 244440. Reserved 2 nights 3 rooms €564. No breakfast. Close to central station.
Thurs 17th May
In Hamburg. Accounts evening up. Breakfast at Stadt Backerei, Mohlenhofstrasse. Visit Chilehaus. Guitar shop. WW2 Anti-Aircraft tower, now music shops and school. Truncated Beatles tour at Grosse Freiheit. Rinder Market Halle, veggie Jalfresi, happy hour at Vino Fino.
'S' Bahn to Hbf (€1.60 each). Walked away from seedy St Georg district to supper at Prego Restaurant Pizzeria, Lilienstraße 36, 20095 Hamburg.
Fri 18th May
Return to UK - arcane argument at Hamburg Hbf DB lounge as to our eligibility in the first class lounge. DB up to all their usual tricks and displaying their poor judgment. How many classes of first class can there be? Baffle your customers with BS.
Rail: Hamburg to Blighty
08.46 Hamburg Hbf - Köln Hbf 12.50
13.43 Koln Hbf - Bruxelles-Midi 15.35
16.56 Bruxelles-Midi - London St Pancras 18.06
Ticket: 18DC73 1st class £427.
Overall: Not the longest but probably the toughest tour to date, due to cobbles and uneven surfaces. Comments below echo previous tours:
Plus Points: We were better prepared than before. Minimal luggage but could be cut further (excess posted home); weather mostly good (no rain but two days very hot); health benefits (the gift that keeps on giving). Bromptons generally reliable. Mobile phone mitigated separations but not infallible. Painkillers (Ibuprofen).
Downsides: One puncture, two broken spokes. Michelin GPS navigation/direction finding a mixed bag - can lead you up the garden path. Getting separated particularly late in the day when fatigued; too much bushwhacking.
Learning points: The Schwalbe Marathon Plus tyre a must for touring, particularly beneficial on rear wheel. Fit later-type stronger Brompton front wheel to earlier models. Investigate lighter bag and luggage. We had some energy gels on tour but not enough.
Overall: Toughest tour yet, but still felt good to be alive.